As promised yesterday, I've gotten the videos from php|tek uploaded. Note: They're all coverage of the beer chugging contest, so don't expect to be clicking into any presentations.
Apr 28, 2006
Apr 23, 2006
Please don't code like this...
As a component of my job, I'm overseeing a fledgling developer in another department as he sharpens his teeth on putting together a simple application for one of my units. The first draft of his code was....well....It's a good example of why some people associate PHP with insecure applications. After some lengthy back and forths we've cleaned up the security related problems and gotten the functionality working. In my recent code review however, I came across this gem:
SELECT userid FROM (
SELECT COMPETENCY.userid,
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 1 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_01,
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 2 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_02,
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 3 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_03,
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 4 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_04,
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 5 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_05,
...You get the idea...
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 35 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_35,
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 36 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_36,
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 37 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_37,
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 38 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_38,
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 39 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_39,
SUM(CASE WHEN COMPETENCY.cid = 40 THEN 1 ELSE 0 END) AS comp_40,
FROM COMPETENCY, COMPETENCY_CODE
WHERE COMPETENCY.cid = COMPETENCY_CODE.cid
GROUP BY COMPETENCY.userid) AS my_view
WHERE (comp_20 = 1 AND comp_19 = 1)
Now, I generally don't like to be TOO abrasive with new developers, don't want to scare them off or anything, but can someone buy this child a SQL book?
Apr 18, 2006
Simple Pleasures
About a week ago a coworker came to me for recommendations on hooking up some broadband at home. I gave her the usual breakdown of the differences between Cable and DSL, what she would need in her laptop to make it connect properly, blah blah blah... So after a little back and forth she settled on a DSL package which offered a decent price and a wireless package which she was told initially included a pcmcia card (later found out it didn't, but they'd be happy to sell her one...).
Since her 266Mhz laptop (running Win98E) only had 28MB of memory we ordered her up a 128MB stick to fill the empty slot (she's trying to do this all on a constrained budget, but there are limits!). We got the memory installed and plugged in an old 10BT pcmcia card I had lying around (a useless spare part to me, but a helpful token for her while she waited for the wireless card to appear) and she was up and running.
A few days later the 802.11g card appeared and this is where things went wonky. She installed the full set of the ISP's software (which included absolutely pointless crap that I'd avoided for her initially when I put the wired card in) in order to get to the wireless card drivers. Not only did the wireless card not work, but the setup died midway, the wired connection stopped working, several random error dialogs started appearing, and the coup de gras.... The backlight on the LCD winked out completely. In short, her one-year contract with the ISP was going to be worthless because her only computer had just exploded.
So she brought the PC back to work with a heartwrenching face of woe. After two days of twiddling with it in between the stuff UC actually pays me to be doing, the laptop is officially singing. The software problems just required uninstalling the ISP's mierda, getting updated drivers from the card vendor, and a tiny bit of registry hacking, nothing phenomenal for a IT person, but not something she could have managed without a reinstall (the process of which would have likely led to the same end result). The LCD was a bit trickier, turns out the lead from the step-up transformer to the backlight lamp had snapped off (coincidental to the software problem, though perhaps aggravated by her frustration induced thwacking) at the bulb so I had to tear open the whole panel and resolder it. Again, nothing more amazing than (effectively) reseating a cable, but this was fun because I'd never dissasembled a panel to that degree before.
Best part of all, when I opened up her laptop to show a vibrant screen (actually better than it had looked before all this started) and successful connectivity to AirBears (UCB's wireless network), the look on her face just said it all.
Sometimes, doing helpdesk work kicks ass.
Since her 266Mhz laptop (running Win98E) only had 28MB of memory we ordered her up a 128MB stick to fill the empty slot (she's trying to do this all on a constrained budget, but there are limits!). We got the memory installed and plugged in an old 10BT pcmcia card I had lying around (a useless spare part to me, but a helpful token for her while she waited for the wireless card to appear) and she was up and running.
A few days later the 802.11g card appeared and this is where things went wonky. She installed the full set of the ISP's software (which included absolutely pointless crap that I'd avoided for her initially when I put the wired card in) in order to get to the wireless card drivers. Not only did the wireless card not work, but the setup died midway, the wired connection stopped working, several random error dialogs started appearing, and the coup de gras.... The backlight on the LCD winked out completely. In short, her one-year contract with the ISP was going to be worthless because her only computer had just exploded.
So she brought the PC back to work with a heartwrenching face of woe. After two days of twiddling with it in between the stuff UC actually pays me to be doing, the laptop is officially singing. The software problems just required uninstalling the ISP's mierda, getting updated drivers from the card vendor, and a tiny bit of registry hacking, nothing phenomenal for a IT person, but not something she could have managed without a reinstall (the process of which would have likely led to the same end result). The LCD was a bit trickier, turns out the lead from the step-up transformer to the backlight lamp had snapped off (coincidental to the software problem, though perhaps aggravated by her frustration induced thwacking) at the bulb so I had to tear open the whole panel and resolder it. Again, nothing more amazing than (effectively) reseating a cable, but this was fun because I'd never dissasembled a panel to that degree before.
Best part of all, when I opened up her laptop to show a vibrant screen (actually better than it had looked before all this started) and successful connectivity to AirBears (UCB's wireless network), the look on her face just said it all.
Sometimes, doing helpdesk work kicks ass.
Good Old Times
Andrei and Zak recently posted their "Good Old Times" references to getting into the PHP project so I thought I'd put mine forward for good measure. Never let it be said I'm not a follower...
At any rate, it didn't take long for Derick to suggest I refer to the CODING_STANDARDS and resubmit the patch as a unified diff against HEAD. After resubmitting, the patch was accepted and, bouyed by my response, led to another contribution in the form of the getanyrr() function which would later come to be named dns_get_record().
Three and a half years later and I've managed to touch nearly every part of the PHP Core distribution and make a lot of friends (and perhaps some not-so-friendlies) along the way. Cheers to all, you know who you are.
Apr 10, 2006
Bunnies bunnies everywhere
I've long been convinced that coincidence is never an accident. On a day to day basis, the questions that come through ##php will gather in bunches to the point where I can often just up-key to find the last time I answered the question, and state it again. What does this have to do with bunnies? I'm glad you asked.
It started with a random link posted in IRC: http://blog.jonnay.net/archives/632-Introducing-BunnyRegex-easy-regular-expressions,-and-mini-languages-inside-of-PHP..html With a title like that, who can resist? The topic itself is fairly uninterresting, however it turned the conversation to rabbits, or at least rabbit stew.
Within moments, a coworker came by my office with a thank-you present (I'd helped her upgrade her personal laptop and get setup with DSL at home). As part of this thank-you present she offered up a stuffed animal (okay, so I have a thing for stuffed animals, sue me). Guess what species she'd selected? That's right. Wabbit.
Is it Fox Mulder spooky? No. But it's a little bit freak-o...
Speaking of rabbits: Check out my cat (who happens to be named "Bunny"):
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